“I am both happy and sad, and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be”

So i’m back again.

I know in my first post i promised i would stay up to date with writing, it’s a promise i have made on many different occasions and i have never been able to stick to it.

I think about writing everyday. But i think i need to be in a particular mood to actually get myself to do it, hence why i could never be a professional writer. I have updates for you guys though, and also, thank you to everyone who has messaged me about my blog. I know it’s taken me a while to get back to you (oops) but it means a lot that you have read my blog and have said such kind words.

Onto the update. I got a boyfriend.

I know, strange. Who would have thought that a broken, nerdy, looser like me would actually meet someone. Believe me, it was hard work. I have major anxiety, which made meeting this guy and us hanging out and going on date, extremely hard for me. Luckily he seems to understand my anxiety, and it has gotten a lot better with him. I am already more comfortable around him than i thought i would be. We’ve spent a lot of time together recently, and that’s made me really happy. The only time i really get anxious is when i haven’t seen him in a while (he’s not great at keeping his phone charged) and i know it is no fault of his, but it always just creates images in my head that he actually doesn’t want to talk to me, or that i’m annoying. I know it’s not true, but anyone who deals with this level of anxiety would understand that we can’t help but think these kind of things. We create situations, that we know aren’t real, in our heads and then freak out.

Enough about that really. Other than that bit of good news, i’m actually pretty unhappy. I still have no idea what i want to do with my life. I have a job now, that i have excelled in as well, but i am really unhappy with where i work. I’m contemplating doing a college course or even going to uni. I’ve looked into it and found a course i am really interested in doing, but at the same time, the process of applying to uni is actually extremely hard. Especially since i haven’t been in any kind of education in over 2 years, so everything i ever got told about this process, i have completely forgotten. I need help, but at the same time, i have nobody in my life who can help me out. They have either never gone through the process, or the people i do know who did go to uni, i am not on good terms with anymore.

For the first time in my life, i am admitting i need help with something, and i have nobody there to help me…

It may seem like something silly. But it is also something i really want to do. And not being able to do it, because i have nobody willing to help me… sucks.

P.S if any of you guys have ever gone through the process, and is willing to help a girl out, hit me up. I could really use it.

Im also worried about money. I live by myself now, in my very own home. And if i go to uni, i’m worried about being able to afford to live. Rent is covered, but i also need to think about other bills as well. I know you can get student loans, which is also something i have looked into. And they are just as bad to understand. What can you actually get a loan for?! I know you can get them to pay for your uni course, and student living, if you get student accomodation. But what if you have your own place? Do they even consider people like that who still need help money wise?

Im just so confused about what to do. Do i stay in a job where i am completely miserable? Even looking for another job is difficult. There are limited things i can get into, or even be considered for, due to lack of qualifications, so its all retail work, or caring. And i’m not interested in any of that. But it seems to be the only thing i can get. I just want a job where i enjoy myself, is that too hard to ask?

I just want my life to mean something, i want to make a difference. Why is it so hard to do that?

Picture – Taken this morning whilst out for a run.

Music – Twenty One Pilots, Addict with a pen.

Ciao,

-MyWebbLife.

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The rest of your life?!

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Okay, so i just want to talk about something that has been bothering me for a number of years now, and that, is life. I get so annoyed at what young people, and even people of my age, have to go through. We’re expected to know exactly what we want to do for the rest of our lives, at such a young age, like what the hell?

There are so many things, we do not even know about ourselves, and yet schools and general people / companies want us to know exactly what we want to do for the rest of our live? how stupid is that. I honestly blame our education system, its falling a part completely. You HAVE to know what subject you’re interested in, and when it gets to more complicated decisions like college and university, if you don’t choose “right” then you have to live with it for the rest of your life.

I’m speaking about this now, because i am in my 20’s and i have absolutely no idea what i want to do with my life. I went through school, i got decent enough grades, went to college and studies ONE subject, which after college, no longer interested me, and it was a subject that is hard to get into for a job.

Now like i said, I’m in my 20’s. I am currently unemployed, literally looking for anything to get into for a job. But the problem is, i still don’t know what i want to do, there are things that interest me, but i have no chance of getting into because i havent got a degree, or have no work experience in it. How am i supposed to get a job in something i actually enjoy, without having to go back to college, which i am at the age where it would cost a lot of money, or go to university, which again, money.

I honestly think the way the word of education and jobs¬†goes, we are royally screwed. I’m an ADULT, and i have no job, not getting any opportunities because i have no relevent experience. What happened to giving people training? to trust people to learn, if they really are interested. We need to give people a chance, a chance to do something meaningful with their lives, something they will enjoy doing till retirement, something they can build up from, even if you do have to start out at the bottom.

In my personal experience, the world of opportunities, doesn’t exist anymore.

And that’s just sad.

Ciao,

-MyWebLife.

Why I’m here.

camera-sunriseHey.

So i thought i’d start by telling you guys why i made this blog. I have had many silly little ones over the years, for personal writing and stories that i had to post somewhere even if nobody ever read them. I honestly don’t care if anybody reads anything i write, and i know i’m no professional writer, nor am i very good at english (lets blame my Dyslexia) but i love having somewhere i can just write what i’m feeling, and share thoughts, so here i am.

I hope this blog will turn out a lot better than my others, i would completely forget about them for months on end, barely ever read through any comments or messages i got, and to be honest, i got a few. But i’m hoping since i paid ¬£36 for this one, ill stay on top of it a little better, especially because i miss writing so much.

Anyway, you may want to know a little bit about me personally, but i will never share anything about who i really am, all you need to know is that my name is Georgia, and i live in the United Kingdom. I’ll always share personal stories and my own thoughts but i’d like to keep myself with some mystery, so i don’t get creeps messaging me like i have on previous sites.

Back to getting to know me, i’ll tell you some of my hobbies if you like. I have a huge interest in reading and writing, i think i always have. Others include very little sports (usually watching or sports that don’t requite too much effort). I love photography, although again i wouldn’t say i’m extremely talented.I’ll probably post photos every so often, and most of them i would have taken myself, so check it out.

I have a habit of always listening to music whilst i write, so i will probably let you guys know what music i’m currently listening to as well, not that you would probably care, but i like to share things like this, maybe we could even swap music favourites someday?

Anyway, now that i’ve done this slightly boring introduction, hopefully you guys get a good idea of what i’m about. I’ll always write something different. The subjects i write about could change dramatically as a lot of things interest me, but keep coming back and maybe you’ll learn some stuff.

Music – 1975, I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it album.

Ciao,

-MyWebLife.